July 14, 2012, Toronto, Canada - In this SAFE International blog I would like to offer my thoughts on "What Self Defense is & What Self Defense is not!"? These are just a few of my opinions, but I feel the majority of people have an incorrect understanding on what self defense is really about, or rather, what it should be about.? I personally don't like the term "self defense" which I have blogged about before, but I continue to use this term since it is most common with people.? Here we go!? I look forward to comments on this.
1)? Self Defense is not about learning how to fight - while learning how to physically protect oneself is obviously a huge part of self defense, it is not the most important and actually should be the last part addressed after all possible methods of avoidance are taught, whether physically or verbally.? I recall Richard Dimitri telling me the story of a gentleman who walked out of one of his seminars.? When Richard asked him why he was leaving out of interest, the gentleman replied, "I came here to learn how to fight, not get out of a fight"
2)? Self Defense is not about the self defense instructor - while the instructor has to have the knowledge and skill to share with their clients he or she is teaching, when the instructor becomes more interested in impressing those they are teaching, they are no longer teaching self defense, but rather promoting themselves.?
3)? Self Defense is not about beating the other person - while you may need to harm the other person in order to survive, once you look at it as beating the other person, you have now turned it into a win or lose scenario with a winner and/or loser. It is strictly about doing what is necessary to get home to your family.? There is no beating, winning, or losing, but rather getting home. That being said you may have to use the most extreme measures to get home to your family. I have a lot more motivation to get home to my family than to beat the other person.?
4)? Self Defense is not about self defense techniques - many are aware of my thoughts on this.? Once physical self defense becomes about techniques you are at a big disadvantage.? Techniques require you memorize movements based on those of the attacker.? These "techniques" are not accessible to the average or highly skilled person in moments of high stress, adrenaline dump, etc.? They are often based on the attacker attacking first which automatically puts you at a big disadvantage.
5)? Self Defense is not about scaring clients - while self defense is a serious topic, those coming to learn are already most likely apprehensive about the topic.? Using scare tactics will not motivate the woman, man, or child to learn, but rather to continue being apprehensive towards the topic.? Instructors need to learn to balance their instruction, to engage the client, to make the learning experience not only educational, but fun to learn.
1)? Self Defense is about completely avoiding violence - yes, the physical part of self defense is important, but should only be addressed after all possible awareness/avoidance strategies are covered. I have many ask me if I can skip the avoidance phase and go right into the physical teaching, but I refuse to do this in good conscience. If we are truly teaching others how to avoid violence, we must address avoiding violence.
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2)? Self Defense is about the women, men, or kids you are teaching - while everyone has their own teaching style, it is important to understand that all clients come to us with a different history that may include sexual assault, fear, apprehension, excitement, pre-conceived ideas, etc.? It is the job of the instructor to teach with empathy and understanding of those needs.? Yes, we are supposed to be the experts, but the clients you are teaching might unfortunately be the expert on violence that has happened in their life and we must consider that and listen to them.?
3)? Self Defense is about being open minded to others - many in the self defense industry have learned one way and only believe in one way or system of self defense.? I can honestly say that my self defense course is VERY DIFFERENT than it was 18 years ago.? My one and only rule with myself is that if I see material that is better and it will make my clients safer, I implement it and give credit to where I learned it.? Being protective of what we have taught for 18 years is not admirable if it is not the best for our clients.?
4)? Self Defense is about getting home to our family/loved ones - in my opinion we can teach how to beat the attacker, harm or destroy the attacker, but if we approach it from the point of teaching your clients these skills will help you to get home to your family and/or loved ones, they will be much more likely to absorb, adopt, and utilize the concepts taught to their maximum effectiveness.? It is the job of the instructor to create the passion and personal reasons to learn these concepts.
5)? Self Defense is about reducing violence one person at a time - this is my business and this is how I earn an income which I make no apologies for, but whether I have one person show up at a seminar or 100, there is no less importance in what you are teaching.? We have the ability to change the life for that one person and that is pretty damned important.? If financially it is challenging, address that, but don't look at one person showing up as a disappointment, as they have come to YOU for your knowledge and we have a huge responsibility to that one person.?
SAFE International has taught 150,000 people since 1994 and continues to learn, grow, and expand.? SAFE specializes in women's self defense parties, high school self defense, corporate self defense, and self defense for Seniors.? Please visit our main site at www.safeinternational.biz and our U.S. site at www.safeinternationalusa.biz? We also have a high school site at www.highschoolselfdefense.com
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